A Beautiful Bride

Last week I got a save the date postcard in the mail. This wedding will be held very near to my own anniversary which got me thinking. Planning a wedding is a lot of work. There are so many preparations for the bride to make. There’s a lot to think of and every decision is made very carefully. First, there’s THE DRESS, then somewhere along the way the bride chooses her hairstyle, nails, makeup, undergarments, jewelry, and THE SHOES. So far all the effort I’ve mentioned is only on her adornment. Doesn’t every bride want to be beautiful to her husband?

Then I got to thinking of the church as the bride of Christ, and me as a member of that church. How am I preparing for the wedding day? How am I adorning myself? God’s word* says that for a woman to adorn herself with a gentle and quiet spirit and good works is precious in His eyes. Okay, WOW.  I'm just going to let this sink in.

I’ve also been thinking a lot lately of what it will be like when I finally meet God face to face. I know that I am not even worthy to cower at His feet, but thanks to the blood of Jesus I believe that I will someday stand before Him unashamed and guiltless. Like an engaged woman, I sometimes get butterflies in my tummy. Not from fear; rather, from excitement.

Sometimes I am baffled that He CHOSE me, but I am so grateful that He did. I will do whatever I can to prepare myself to be beautiful to Him. This will take effort, but won’t it be worth it? Can you imagine what a reception in the King’s court will be like? I hope to see you there. We can celebrate together.

* I Peter 3:3-4, I Tim 2:9-10

Be Salty

I was reading to my daughter from The Word & Song Bible the other night when I came across something I had never really thought of before.  The story references Matthew 5:13 where Jesus says, "You are the salt of the earth...".

But what does that mean?  How am I salt?  Quite honestly, I had never considered it before.

This story goes on to say "...real salt always makes people thirsty.  And when you're thirsty, you want a drink of water."

If we are the salt, then we are the ones who are supposed to make others thirsty - thirsty for Living Water (John 4:10-11)!  We should be "salty" enough that we cause others to want to know about Jesus when they see us.  If we lose our saltiness, we can't make people thirsty.  We must work every day to reflect Jesus in our words and actions so that people will thirst for Him.

February Financial Fast, Day 23

We are in the home stretch, with just 5 more days to go. It is kind-of amazing. At the beginning of the month, though I was optimistic, I didn't expect it to go this easily. Of course, there have been a few missteps here and there and I have really missed craft stores and school supply stores and even the grocery store. But along the way, we've learned that we are capable and resourceful and that we are blessed far beyond our needs. And isn't that the point of all of this? To look at our lives and see just how much God gives us. How many things do I have that I just take for granted every day? The house I'm in, the food in the pantry, the cars in the driveway, the chair where I sit and the computer where I type these words. The TIME together. We didn't go out just for something to do. We played games and talked around the dinner table and I picked up the guitar my father-in-law gave me years ago and actually learned three chords. We watched documentaries and the Olympics and I occasionally went to bed a little earlier – once or twice even before midnight! I can look at this life and see just how blessed I really am. One-tenth of what God has given me is more than I deserve. And then, as if all of that weren't enough, there is salvation and eternal life with Him yet to come which makes everything else look like nothing. What a loving, giving Father we have!

Yield

When I first thought about the concept of yielding I was thinking about surrendering, submitting or relinquishing. Giving up possession of something or perhaps giving up control of some situation or relationship. I figured that if it’s hard for me to give up my time, talents, money, control, etc. that it’s hard for others as well.

What I found when I started looking deeper at this word is that I like the other definitions of this word much better. I love the idea of yielding as bearing fruit or producing something after cultivation or receiving a return on an investment. That’s a much more positive way to look at this idea of yielding.

And, of course, when I started searching the Bible for the word yield that’s exactly what I found. There are, naturally, tons of references to yielding in relation to actual crops. There are also lots of figurative references to bearing fruit. We all know that the Spirit produces in us the fruit of love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5: 22-23 NKJV).

I love the idea of bearing fruit as described in Psalm 1.

1 Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
3 He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper.
(Psalm 1: 1-3 NKJV)

I love the image of the tree planted by streams of water. I particularly love this Psalm because someone mentioned it in describing my grandmother as she was dying a few years ago. I’ll never forget that comparison. Her roots went deep. Her delight was in the Lord. She cultivated her relationship with God. As a result her life yielded the fruit of faithfulness.

From this Psalm and from thinking about my grandmother’s life, I learned that there is some surrendering, submitting and relinquishing required in bearing fruit or receiving a return on an investment. As the sign above suggests, my original thoughts on yielding were about being required to give up or surrender to something or someone. However, the beautiful thing about God is that He allows us the choice. He never forces us to submit to His will. We’re certainly better off if we do. If we delight in Him, he will give us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4).

Just like my grandmother, if we sink deep into the soil of His Word, we will bear the fruit of love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Others will notice that fruit and know that we love Him and will want a relationship with Him as well.

And, isn’t it our ultimate goal to yield fruit through sharing our faith?

Singing Hallelujah!

Yesterday, my family was invited to have a family devotional with friends from church. Roberto, our gracious (and comical) host explained how he and his wife Jeana used to have group singing every week through college and how inspiring those moments were to their spiritual encouragement.

As with most of us, life gets busy and it’s so easy to let go of simple, important pleasures. They sought to revive their first love of having weekly devotions...and I’m so glad they did! We talked, we laughed, we ate (eating is always good, right?), but most of all, we sang our hearts out!

It’s beautiful to listen to the medley of voices…what a sweet aroma it must be to God. We all sing in worship service, but singing along freely and earnestly with friends at home just does something to you!

We took turns choosing songs…each person picking nostalgic hymns from childhood or suggesting favorite harmonious selections. Not only did I learn a lot of new songs, but I got excellent song practice as well. Everyone sang out, even looking up occasionally as if to tell God, "I love you so much for what you are doing in my life."

Ephesians 5:19 tells us to "Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs..." Now that’s a great way to encourage one another! As we ended our evening, we locked arms and sang "Bind Us Together" and prayed for the families that were represented in our gathering. Simply put, it was a great way to end the week. I think we’ll host it next time.

February Financial Fast, Day 15

Well, we've passed the half-way point and so far, it is looking pretty good. I am almost ashamed to say that the pantry and freezer have barely seen a dent in their stockpiles. The refrigerator, on the other hand, is getting pretty bare. The milk is gone, much to my daughter's dismay, but we have a dozen eggs and there are still 3 – 4 bottles of juice as well as cheese and plenty of baby carrots, apples and oranges.

However, the great benefit of all of this has not been the grocery expenses. It has been all the other little things. A cup of coffee here, drive-thru there, a candy bar for the kid, more yarn (I admit, I am a bit of an addict), more clothes, movie rentals that end up being kept until there are late charges, just SO MUCH STUFF. And for what? What were these things adding to our lives? I am not saying that we will continue to be this strict after this experiment is over, but I can already see the changes both in my and my husband's thinking and in out daughter's. We're reading more, cooking at home more, playing (borrowed) video games together. It is definitely so much of an awakening that already I have to recommend that you and your family try this when you can.

One admission I do have to make, however, is one slip-up. One day last week, I had a migraine and my husband was sick. He drove our daughter to his parents' house for the night and, on the way back, picked up fast food so neither of us would have to cook dinner and could just eat and then go to bed early. At the time, I was terribly thankful for the exception, but now I feel the guilt of it. That was $10 gone to feed two people a single meal. So, no, we are not perfect in this endeavor – not that I expected to be – but I think, over all, we are doing quite well. Here's to 13 more days of recognizing our true blessings and coming to a better understanding of needs vs. wants!

Background Noise

My husband and I are both pretty quiet people. We like quiet. At times we even crave quiet. It seems as if every time we go into a restaurant we will inevitably be seated next to the loudest person, couple or family there. Most of the time we just laugh about it and laugh at ourselves a little bit for being somewhat “intolerant” of the noise around us. Other times we get a bit frustrated about it. It’s hard to focus on having a conversation with each other when you are trying to tune out the background noise.

We all struggle with background noise at times don’t we? The unwanted meaningless sound coming from behind us that interferes with where our attention should be. It catches our attention, but distracts us from our purpose. It confuses us so we don’t know where to turn. We hear the wrong things. We don’t hear what we need to hear. We can’t concentrate. We are sometimes even distracted to the point of actually turning to see what’s going on behind us.

In life, background noise can come in the form of stress, worry, work, family, illness, media, etc. Not necessarily all bad things, but certainly things that may distract us from our true purpose. I find that sometimes the noise is so loud that I can’t hear the voice of God. I get so distracted by the busyness of life that I take my eyes off Him and lose His voice. How can we hear the voice of God in the midst of all the noise in our lives?

We hear from God by reading His Word. However, it’s not enough to read the Word without paying attention to it. In Hebrews 2:1 the writer says, “For this reason we must pay closer attention to what we have heard lest we drift away from it.” Sometimes that background noise is really attractive to us. When we are hearing what we want to hear we may not be listening to what we NEED to hear. It’s so important to be focused on the right voices. I participate in a Pilates class every week. If you are not familiar with Pilates it is very similar to yoga. The goal of Pilates is to strengthen the core muscles through a series of stretching exercises along with deep breathing. If you’ve ever done either, you know how much you have to focus on both the movements and the breathing. In my Pilates class we end each session with some balance postures. Have you ever tried to balance on one foot? It’s not as easy as it looks. My instructor always advises us to stare straight ahead and find a focal point. Guess what happens the minute you take your eyes off that point? You begin to lose your balance and may even fall. This reminds me of what happened to Peter in Matthew 14:22-33. Peter had enough faith to step out of the boat into the water. He was focused on getting to Jesus. But, he was distracted by the waves and the wind around him. As soon as he took his focus off of Jesus he began to sink.

It’s the same for us. As long as we keep our eyes on Jesus the distractions and background noise of the world will fade and his voice will become clear. Only then can we truly hear what we need to hear.

What are you focusing on today?

February Financial Fast, Day 6

So, the "February Financial Fast" has been in full swing for 6 days now. How's it going? Not bad, really.

I did buy one thing: an umbrella. Mine was stepped on and broken and the rain just has not stopped around here lately. I tried to think of a way around it (besides, you know, just getting wet), but sadly, I do not own a poncho and none of my coats are waterproof.

Other than that, there's been nothing. Our pantry and freezer remain full and the only thing I have really missed was being able to grab something to eat while out running errands the other day. Because of a doctor's appointment, I had skipped breakfast and by the time I got out of there, picked up my daughter, and gone to the pharmacy, it was 3 in the afternoon and I was regretting not having planned ahead. So, lesson learned. When I went out yesterday, I packed a lunch!

The photos below are of our two main pantry spaces on January 31st. Because of my couponing and stocking up since October, there isn't much change yet, but I will post more as the month progresses.

Anxiety

The other night, after about two hours of sleep, I awoke with a nagging, uncomfortable dread that I have come to know all too well. Since the age of 20, I have suffered from the occasional panic attack. In the beginning, they were mild and infrequent, but as time went on they became a common occurrence and yet each seemed, to me, more scary than the last. I visited the Emergency Room three times over as many years, convinced each time that I was having a heart attack. EKGs and chest x-rays revealed nothing despite searing pain in my chest and shortness of breath. By the time I reached 30, having several attacks a week was not uncommon. It is almost as if there are two voices in my head during these times. One insisting, "Everything is fine, we've been through this before, just breathe." and the other screaming, "WE ARE DYING!!!". AT times, these attacks became so debilitating that I didn't want to get out of bed. I have prayed over this so much over the years. I could not wrap my mind around the fact that I believed in and trusted God who allows me to give Him all of my worries and cares and yet, I was not ABLE to give Him this. I know that worry and stress are useless (Luke 12:25), so why did this consume me? Why, with all of the things that I gave to Him during the day, could I not also give Him this anxiety that seemed to have no real cause?

After some time, I found that my dad and his mother have also dealt with these same symptoms for most of their lives. While it helped to see this as a genetic problem, it still brought me no closer to understanding.

Late last year, I began seeing a new doctor. The same one who treats my dad. He prescribed medication that has decreased the frequency of the attacks, though, as tonight is evidence, it has not stopped them completely. This medication also brought with it another problem. I became concerned that I was leaning on medication when I should have been leaning on my Lord. No matter how much I prayed over this, I could not figure out what this meant for my life.

Thankfully, my dear Kenya helped me to put things in perspective. Obviously, if I had a broken arm I would see a doctor to repair and set it. While I would certainly pray that God would help me to heal, no one I know would think it wrong to seek medical attention in this situation. The difference, I think, comes with the stigma of mental disorders.

Having spent so much of my life working with foster children, I am no stranger to the varied and terrible effect the mind can have on the rest of the body and I can attest that we, as a society, tend to be afraid of anything we do not understand and we are FAR from understanding the diseases of the mind.

But God isn't. He knows everything there is to know and He certainly knows that my anxiety disorder is no sign of my lack of faith in and dependence on Him. He gave man the knowledge and ability to create medical treatments. In 1 Timothy 5:23 (NIV), Paul encourages the young Timothy to "take a little wine because of your stomach and frequent illnesses". In their time, water was certainly anything but pure and water-borne illness was rampant. It is not to be missed that Paul was sure to include the word "little" here; he was absolutely not advocating that Timothy depend solely on the wine. Is that so different from my medication? If this helps me to focus myself, sleep better, be a better wife and mother and, in the end, be able to live my life the way God would want me to. As with Timothy, it cannot become my crutch or addiction, but it can be a tool that God has provided me so that I can better live for Him.

Learning to Shut Up

Ok, it’s no secret that I have a big mouth. I love to talk! I’ve often thought of it as a gift at times, thinking of how it has allowed me to make new friends, avoid awkward moments, or even speak publicly occasionally without throwing up (I do feel that way sometimes)!

But we all know there’s another side, a dark side, to this "talent". Many times, I fail miserably of just knowing when to be quiet! This is especially true when it comes to Bible discussion (or maybe a better word is DEBATE).

I had a spiritual revelation this week. Nothing new. Not some scripture I’d never read before (as a matter of fact, this scripture was highlighted and underlined). Often times, seasoned Christians can (and should) be pricked by familiar scriptures in a new way. It’s more of a matter of spiritual maturity than it is of scriptural memorization.

In Bible class, we’re studying 2 Timothy 2 and all of the advice that Paul (whom I considered the boldest apostle) is giving to his younger Christian brother, Timothy. He’s reminding him to tell the other Christians to avoid "quarreling about words" (v. 14 NIV). The verse goes on to say that it is of no value and hurtful to those who are witnessing it. Wow. That was powerful to me this week. Me, a zealous Christian, who’s usually ready for the "throw down" any time concerning doctrinal matters and any other discussion in between!

It’s a great point to ponder. Here’s the (arguably) most-passionate apostle who’s kept his spiritual fire for the Lord through several near-death experiences telling his son in the gospel to be gentle and pursue peace rather than give way to stupid arguments. (Yep, the NIV Bible says "stupid") He went on to say that they (the arguments) are pointless.

The heart of the matter is that when we argue about the Bible or any of its principles, we’ve taken God out of it and replaced spiritual truth with personal pride (you know, basically just "getting somebody told"). And that turns it all into "Godless chatter".

Now, none of this means we can’t have Bible discussion. We need that. God expects that. It’s just having the self-control to know when the discussion is fruitful and when it’s not. For instance, arguing with your colleague about how wrong he or she is to have instrumental music during the worship service, usually just leads you to losing a friend...not bringing someone to spiritual enlightenment. Wouldn’t it be easier to just study the Bible together without pointing fingers and calling names?

There’s lots of wisdom in Paul’s letter. He’s near his death in Rome and, as you can see, he’s wiser about a few things concerning the matters of Biblical discussion and exhortation. I think spiritual maturity brings you closer to the goal of knowing that the best persuader for Christ is living your Christianity out loud..not yelling about it!

I feel as though this newest growing pain has helped me to rise above my spiritually-adolescent thinking. Praise God for spiritual growth...

A Juggling Act

I’ve never learned how to juggle balls, but as a wife and mother who teaches her children at home, I’ve learned over the years how to juggle responsibilities. By the grace of God through my status as full-time homemaker, I’ve learned something of the arts of cooking, baking, nursing, and teaching. For years I’ve been trying to perfect these and the other arts necessary to manage a home successfully. I will admit that there was a time when I thought of these tasks as menial. But, now that I have these responsibilities, I know how much skill it takes. It’s just plain tough.

The other day I decided to do something that would throw a wrench into this perpetual juggling act. I signed up for a gym membership. Admittedly, I should have prayed over this decision a bit more, but before I knew it I’d signed my life away. Okay, not my life, but a substantial monthly fee. Now, to justify the expense, I find myself exercising four times a week. All this exercise gobbles up a lot of valuable time, so now I feel more stress than ever and I’m constantly fatigued. Ironic, isn’t it? I thought that exercise was supposed to give you more energy and take away stress? For me, it’s just not panning out that way. So what have I learned from this?

1) Exercise is good for the body, but God renews the soul. He alone brings life.

2) That where I am deficient God is abundant. Um, I’m not that smart. Or organized. So who’s going to get credit for raising children who are intelligent, productive, God-honoring citizens? God will receive all the glory and only I will know how far short I fall and how little credit I deserve.

3) All I have to do is obey. What a relief. I do not control the outcome. I only control the degree of my submission.



Verses for consideration: Timothy 4:8, Isaiah 40:29, Galatians 6:9, Lamentations 3:22-24

What I Learned, or Re-Learned, This Week

1. Chocolate-chip bagels and Cafe Mochas are awesome, but a little one-on-one with your friend at the coffee house is even better.

2. Never trust weather forecasters.

3. There are no snow-days for homeschoolers.