Happy New Year

I’m not much of a “new year’s resolution” girl.  I find that the resolutions tend to be the same every year.  Lose weight.  Exercise more.  Pray more.  Study the Bible more, etc.  For a few weeks, maybe even a couple of months, I’m focused on those things, but after a while, my enthusiasm wanes.  I stop trying.  I end up feeling like a failure.  That makes me depressed.  I eat.  That leads me right back to the beginning, needing to lose weight and exercise more!  It’s a never ending cycle.

 

I do, however, love lists.  I’m pretty goal oriented.  I like to check things off once they’ve been accomplished.  Last year, while I did make a list, I decided to modify my thinking about resolutions.  Here is something I wrote then:

 

Maybe I should define my life goals and use those goals to determine the changes I need to make for 2010. So, here they are, my goals not just for 2010, but for my life:

1. To look forward to heaven and not be fearful to stand before God.
2. To help someone else get to heaven.
3. To live in a state of gratitude.
4. To pray continually.
5. To hide the Word in my heart.
6. To be diligent in everything I do.
7. To love God with my heart, mind, soul, and strength.

I don’t do all of these things perfectly all of the time, but trying to live these goals is much more fulfilling than checking off a laundry list of “resolutions” that seem to come back around every year.

 

 

The great thing about the list above is that it is a continual process.  It’s not something that I have to do by a certain date or age.  I am trying to incorporate these attitudes into my day to day journey.   It’s a new life motto.  Last year I really tried to focus on the concept of diligence.  I want to be intentional and diligent in everything I do.  I still have room for improvement, but I am making progress.

 

This year my focus is on words.  First, I want to focus on The Word.  I want to immerse myself into God’s Word so much that it becomes a part of me and who I am.  I want it to naturally spring from my heart and my lips.  I want my speech to be seasoned with Its truths.

 

I have also been thinking a lot recently about my words.  Words have the power to hurt or heal.  I want my words to be healing, encouraging and positive.  They are not always.  I have hurt with my words and have been hurt by the words of others.  I want to turn that hurt into healing.

 

I have been camped on these scriptures recently:

 

v  Matthew 12:36 – “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,” Ouch!  How many careless words have I spoken??  How many people have been hurt by my careless speech??

 

v  Ephesians 4:29-32 – “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”   Have my words grieved the Holy Spirit?  Is there anything worse than grieving the Holy Spirit?

 

 

In this new year I want to continue pursuing my goals.  I don’t want to simply check things off a list.  I want to be continually transforming myself into who He wants me to be.  That is the ultimate goal, to be who He created me to be while doing what He created me to do!

 

How about you?  What are you thinking about as we approach 2011?

 

Happy New Year!

Psalm 2

¹ Why do the nations conspire
   and the peoples plot in vain?
² The kings of the earth rise up
   and the rulers band together
   against the LORD and against his anointed, saying,
³ “Let us break their chains
   and throw off their shackles.”
 ⁴ The One enthroned in heaven laughs;
   the Lord scoffs at them.
⁵ He rebukes them in his anger
   and terrifies them in his wrath, saying,
⁶ “I have installed my king
   on Zion, my holy mountain.”
 ⁷ I will proclaim the LORD’s decree:
   He said to me, “You are my son;
   today I have become your father.
⁸ Ask me,
   and I will make the nations your inheritance,
   the ends of the earth your possession.
⁹ You will break them with a rod of iron;
   you will dash them to pieces like pottery.”
 ¹⁰ Therefore, you kings, be wise;
   be warned, you rulers of the earth.
¹¹ Serve the LORD with fear
   and celebrate his rule with trembling.
¹² Kiss his son, or he will be angry
   and you and your ways will be destroyed,
for his wrath can flare up in a moment.
   Blessed are all who take refuge in him.


Do you know someone who thinks they know more than God, who thinks their way is better than God's way?  Most of us do. Maybe we've even been that person ourselves, but clearly that kind of thinking is vanity, trying to grasp the wind (Ecclesiastes 1:14). How often is pride our downfall?  Even as far back as Eden, it was pride - Adam and Eve believing that they knew better than the Lord - that led to their demise.

Often we begin to think we are so good, so smart, that God's love for us becomes a burden - chains and shackles (v. 3) that we want to throw off.  This chapter is a clear reminder of how God feels about that kind of attitude.  I would never want my Father to scoff at me, to rebuke me, to bring His wrath against me (v. 4-5).

Looking ahead to verse 12: "...blessed are all who take refuge in Him."  Blessed indeed!  As children of God we stand to inherit all (v. 8), but we must SERVE the Lord, FEAR the Lord and REJOICE in His "burdens". 


Click here for the post on Psalm 1.

Cornbread and Bon Bons

With my husband’s help, I have been compiling a family cookbook.  I wanted all the recipes for all of my favorite family dishes.  You know the ones.  The cornbread your grandmother makes or the chocolate cake that your great aunt makes or your mom’s famous slaw.  We all have favorite foods that take us back to special times or remind of us of loved ones.

I was pretty fired up when I started this project………three years ago.  It’s taken me that long partly because I’m a procrastinator, partly because all the other things in life tend to get in the way, and partly because my family….LOVES. TO. EAT.  I’ve got about 170 pages worth of family recipes so far, with more to go.  I am so tired of typing the word tablespoon.

Since it’s quickly approaching that time of year that is filled with family and food, I thought I might share some of my favorite recipes.  In sharing the recipes, perhaps you’ll learn something about my family, and, who knows, maybe a little something about me as well.  Maybe I’ll even make this a regular part of the blog.

The two recipes I want to share today are from two women very dear to me.  The first is my aunt, Donna. Donna was the kind of person that everyone loved.  You just couldn’t help but love her.  She had a really great sense of humor and was always ready to share a laugh.  Much to our shock and devastation, Donna left this world far too soon and far too young.  She was 49 years old when a massive heart attack took her from us.  I had never really grieved until I lost Donna.  Oh, I had experienced loss before, but not quite on this level.  I was crazy about her.  The moments standing by her graveside saying that final goodbye were some of the saddest of my life.  I was happy for her, because Donna was a Christian and I know, without doubt, that she is with the Lord even now.  I was so sad for us though, for my uncle, for my cousins, for Donna’s mother and sister and brothers.  For her sweet friends that were sharing in that loss.  The world lost such a precious soul.  I will never forget her influence on my life.

The recipe I most associate with Donna is Broccoli Cornbread.  That’s right, Broccoli Cornbread.  I think Donna brought it to every family function.  Even now, there is usually a pan of this unique cornbread on the table at any holiday celebration. 

Broccoli Cornbread

1 package frozen broccoli, thawed, chopped and drained

1 stick butter, melted

1 teaspoon salt

1 large onion, chopped

6 ounces cottage cheese

4 eggs, beaten

1 box Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix

Mix all ingredients.  Bake in 9x13 pan in 400 degree oven 25-30 minutes or until brown.

I certainly can’t share family recipes without mentioning my sweet grandmother, my dad’s mother.  She loved to cook and, as with most grandmothers, every time we gathered for a meal at her house, there was enough food to feed the neighborhood. 

I miss my grandmother most at church.  That’s where I saw her the most.  She and my aunt and another sweet lady sat in front of me and my immediate family.  Sometimes when I walk into the church I still look for her on “her pew.”  There are times when I’m surprised that she’s not there. 

My grandmother, or Mumsie, as we called her, was a very strong woman.  She had, what I would consider, a pretty tough life at times.  I never heard her complain though.  She had to work hard for most of her life, but she always seemed very content.  She handled adversity, like losing a child and a grandchild and having cancer, with grace.  It was the third bout with cancer that finally took her life.  She was sick and she suffered, but she was at peace.  She had lived a full life and she was ready to go home.  I remember my mother calling me very early on a Wednesday morning to tell me my grandmother had died.  I had been there on Tuesday evening so I knew it would be soon.  I remember just feeling very peaceful and thankful that she was finally home.  I am so thankful to have had such a godly woman in my life.

There are a lot of favorite “Mumsie recipes” that I could share.  I have to say though, that this is one of the top three.  I remember these specifically at Christmas and they always disappeared quickly.

 Bon-Bons

1 box 10x sugar

1 package coconut

1 cup pecans, finely chopped

1 ½ sticks melted butter

Mix all ingredients together and form balls.  Melt 1 package chocolate chips and ½ bar paraffin in top of double boiler.  Dip coconut balls into chocolate with toothpick and cool on wax paper.

I hope you’ll try one of these recipes.  More importantly though, I hope you are able to spend time with your family during this festive season.  Enjoy the food and the fun, but treasure the fellowship.  Make lasting memories with those you love!

What are some of your favorite family recipes?

Thankful

Each in our own words:






Yvonne:

• salvation
• health
• family/hubby/children/etc.
• gift of motherhood
• home
• food
• church family
• grace - God's patience with me
• quiet peaceful life
• sunshine/flowers/blankets

Kenya:

• friends who are happy to listen to your vents

• a gut-busting, tear-dropping laugh

• cuddle time with my hubby

• sharing an evening swapping stories with my kids

• sharing the kitchen with generations of wise women in my family as we prepare for Thanksgiving

• a fun, impromptu sing-a-long that the whole joins in on (just makes you smile)

• (most of all) God's faithfulness to always give you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it. Why do we worry anyway?

Jennifer:

• Fall weather

• My patient and loving husband

• Godly parents

• The sound of the ocean

• My church family

• Chocolate in any form

• Sweet memories of those that are no longer with me

• Good health

• My job

• Friends to laugh with

• A loving and forgiving God

Erica:

• Grace

• Faithful, Christian parents

• Loving husband with a great sense of humor and more patience than I deserve

• Siblings I can count as friends

• Red Maple trees in fall

• Amazing brothers and sisters in Christ

• Modern medicine

• The new door that opens any time an old one closes

• Chocolate

• Freedom to worship and express myself

• Inside jokes

• A comfortable home with plenty to eat and a soft, warm bed

• New friends

• Old friends

• In-laws who break every stereotype and are a blessing

• The gift of another day

Togetherness is better than turkey, people are more important than pie, gratitude means more than green bean casserole, sharing is greater than shopping, love is above all.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. - Colossians 3:17

And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. - Ephesians 5:20

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! - 2 Corinthians 9:15

Above all today, remember the One to whom all Thanksgiving is due.

We'd love to hear the list of the things for which you are thankful; please share it in the comments.

Psalm 1

I thought we could use a bit more Bible in our lives - at least, I know I could.  So, I am going to be working my way through Psalms and I hope you'll join me.
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I am glad to be starting here,  Psalm 1 is one of my favorite passages and I come back to it often.

¹ Blessed is the one
   who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
   or sit in the company of mockers, 


This verse is clear about who is blessed.  I think, as Christians, we are very careful not to walk with the wicked, but perhaps we are not so careful about where or with whom we stand or sit.  It is one thing to stand or sit in one place and say, "I cannot help what is around me.", but a very different thing to move ourselves out of those places.  2 Timothy 2:22 tells us, "Flee evil desires of youth, but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart".  Obviously, there is more to it than being in one place!  We are to FOLLOW the good.  I don't know about you, but I don't think I can follow anything by standing or sitting.
 
² but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
   and who meditates on His law day and night. 

Delight!  I love that word.  What do you delight in - what do you take pleasure in?  If I were to ask you to quickly jot down five things that delight you, would the law of the Lord make the list?  My guess is probably not.  I'll be honest, that isn't an answer that would come to me.  That's when I look at the second part of this verse, "...and who meditates on His law day and night."  That's the problem right there.  Perhaps my delight would be in the law of the Lord if I were meditating on it day and night.  
 
³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
   which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
   whatever they do prospers. 

That person - the one who delight's in the law of the Lord and meditates on it day and night - grows, produces, lives.  When I feel "withered", could it be because I have stopped taking in the water, the abundant blessings of my Lord?
 
 ⁴ Not so the wicked!
   They are like chaff
   that the wind blows away. 

Chaff isn't something we really know about these days.  The analogy may be lost on some of us in modern times.  Chaff is the light, papery husk of cereal grains such as wheat, rice and barley.  (That's rice chaff in the photo to the left.)  In those days, the chaff was threshed from the grain on the "threshing floor" and then workers would light a fire to one side of the grain and then fan from the other side.  The chaff, being light, would blow into the fire while the heavier grain was left on the floor, cleaned and ready to be gathered up.  (Matthew 3:12 references this process again, referring to how the Lord will judge and separate, burning the chaff in "unquenchable fire.")  The lines are drawn very clearly here.  Think back to that tree planted by the water, yielding fruit, not withering and compare it to this dry, dusty husk picked up into the air by a breeze and whisked into the fire, destroyed.  Lush, green and clean next to dirty, withered castoff.  
 
⁵ Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
   nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. 

Again, it is made clear that the wicked are doomed.  They are not blessed, there are not fed by the streams of water, they are cast into the fire!
 
 ⁶ For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
   but the way of the wicked leads to destruction. 

Are you letting the Lord watch over your path?  Are you letting Him lead you or have you chosen your own way?  You can be sure that any way that isn't God's way, is the way of chaff, the way of the wicked, the sinners and the mockers - the way of destruction.


 

What I Learned (or Re-Learned) This Week

WILTW is back by popular demand.  I hope to have it up every Monday.  - Erica

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1. You reap what you sow. And sometimes you reap what other people sow. Even though you don't like it.
2. Eyeglasses for children will be broken within the first week.
3. Even when you're an adult, you may need your mom to tell you the right thing to do.
4. From now on all banana splits (and anything else) should be made with Blue Bell Groom's Cake Ice Cream.
5. Verse of the day: “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,”- Ephesians 1:18
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Clear Vision

I first had to get glasses about ten years ago. It wasn't long before I switched to contacts. Then, two summers ago, I suffered a corneal abrasion to my left eye. The cause was never found, but, according to eye specialist that I saw twice a week for a month, the surface of my eye had just begun to slough off. Yes, that is just about as much fun as it sounds. I sat in the dark, cold compress on the left side of my face, unable to drive and barely able to walk because I was so off balance, having lost all depth perception, and on pain medication. Time passed and I got better. Now, I am the only one who can still see that that eye doesn't open quite as widely as the other. 

Still, even as I healed, I could not bear the thought of putting my contacts back in. Nor did I want to go back to the ophthalmologist. I had had enough of them, I guess. So, time passed. I got a little older and I suddenly realized I'd gone two years without glasses or contacts and I had to squint an awful lot more than I used to. Finally, I returned to the eye doctor and, this week, got my new eyeglasses. 

When I picked them up and put them on, I was shocked. I looked out the window, across the highway and I could read the signs on the far side! I had not even known how much I was missing. The condition of my eyes had deteriorated and I hadn't even noticed. In my fear and carelessness, I had put off clarity. It struck me in that moment, standing at the counter, that this didn't apply only to my eyes. 

Have you ever been injured and let that drive a wedge between you and clarity, love, grace? Have you let fear, carelessness and procrastination degrade your relationship with the Lord? Or maybe it has prevented you from ever knowing what you are missing, from ever opening your eyes to God. 

I pray that your eyes are open, that you do see all He has to offer and that none of us take His many gifts for granted.

Isaiah 35:

⁴ say to those with fearful hearts,
   “Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
   he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
   he will come to save you.”  

⁵ Then will the eyes of the blind be opened
   and the ears of the deaf unstopped. 

Washed In the Blood

For some reason my husband and I chose the middle of summer, in the south, to stain our deck.  Since we both have demanding full time jobs, we spent several evenings working on this project.   On those sweltering humid evenings, with sweat streaming down my face I wondered what in the world we were thinking.  Why didn’t we do this in the fall or spring?  Oh well, as I was meticulously painting the worn deck, trying to cover all the flaws, I couldn’t help but think about the blood of Christ and the wonderful way that our flaws, or sins are covered.

 

 Our deck is likely original to the house, meaning, at the time of staining, that it was about sixteen years old.  It’s seen a lot of wear and tear over the years.  It’s been exposed to scorching heat, bitter cold, fierce wind, pounding rain and even some heavy snow.  It actually held up pretty well through it all.  We didn’t have to replace any boards, steps or rails.  It just needed something to make it look new.  After the first coat we were pleased and proud of our hard work.  Then, we applied the second coat and were amazed at the transformation.  This old dirty worn deck looked like new.  It’s still not perfect, but the color is better.  The stain covered, or least disguised even the worst blemishes on the deck.

 

Isn’t that what the blood of Christ does for us?  Without it we are dirty and worn and beaten down by the world.  Our flaws are out there for everyone to see.  Once we are washed in that blood, through baptism, we are clean and pure and flawless.  The blood of Christ covers our blemishes.  It covers our wounds and hurts.  It covers our sin.  It makes us new.

 

The bad thing about the deck is that we will have to stain it again.  It will face the elements again and will begin to show signs of wear and tear.  The flaws will come to the surface.  We will have to apply that stain again and again.  At some point we may even have to replace some of the boards, steps and rails.  See, that deck wasn’t designed to last forever.

 

The beauty of the blood of Christ is that it is forever.  Christ died once and for all.  For me. For you.  For everyone.  Forever. 

 

Unlike the deck, we don’t have to “reapply” the blood of Christ each time we sin.  As long as we are in fellowship with Him that blood cleanses us, keeps us clean and pure. 

 

It comforts me to know that I am constantly made new through my relationship with Him.

 

How about you?

 

Have you been washed in the blood of Christ?

 

“But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.”                ~ John 1:7

Just Five Minutes

Today I went outside for a few minutes of peace. 

 

Just five minutes. 

 

My job involves lots of numbers.  I like numbers so it’s OK.  It’s just that today was intense.  I had way too many numbers floating around in my head.  I focused on my computer screen until my eyes burned.  I needed fresh air, a cool breeze, and a beautiful blue sky.  I could see through my window that it was a magnificent day and that outside I would find the peace that I craved.  I could almost feel the fresh cool breeze on my face. 

 

Not quite though.  

 

So I escaped. 

 

For just five minutes.

 

The minute I stepped outside I could feel myself relax just a little.  I could feel the release of tired muscles. I could feel the clearing of my cluttered mind. I could feel myself being restored.  Just five minutes of quiet time outside on a beautiful day made such an amazing difference.  I went back to my desk, to the sea of numbers waiting there, refreshed and energized.  It was just enough to get me through the rest of my work day. 

 

I find that time in God’s Word does the same for me.  Sometimes I berate myself for not spending enough time in Bible study, and rightfully so.  I need lengthy times of Bible Study to stay focused and connected.  However, while I crave those times when I can leisurely pour over scripture and meditate on its truths, sometimes I find that just five minutes is enough.  It’s enough to leave me refreshed and restored.  It’s enough to give me the courage to go on with my day.  It’s enough to make a difference. 

 

How about you?  What energizes you in the midst of your busy life?

Random Thoughts as I Try to Fall Asleep

• When was the last time we updated FAR?  If I can't remember, that's probably not a good sign.
• I wonder if most people are as easily distracted as I am...
• What am I going to make for dinner tomorrow night?  I wonder if I can manage to put off getting groceries for another day.  Hmmmmm...no milk, no bread, no bananas...I guess not.
• Did I lock the front door?  Yes.  No.  Ugh

                   .....

• Yep, it was locked.
• What other errands can I throw in with the grocery trip?  Bank.  Pharmacy.  Library. Yarn Shop.
• Is this sore throat and cough EVER going to go away?
• I need to make more progress with Katie Grace's schoolwork.  I think we're falling behind.  Maybe I expect too much.
• Did I pray?  Yes.  No.  Yes.  I think I'll pray again.

                   .....

• I always feel better after that.  I probably don't pray enough.  Probably no one does, I think.  
• Sometimes I think all this free-will isn't all it's cracked up to be.
• I don't think the 25 pound dog should be taking up more of the bed than I do.
• Tissues with lotion - must remember these tomorrow at the store.

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Anyone else ramble on in your head that way?  I used to find it annoying, but no more.  I realized what a blessing it was to be able to put all my thoughts and concerns into words.  In reality, God has given us the ability to settle our minds, bring all our troubles to Him, put everything to bed and then rest.  What an amazing God we have!

House Rules

As I begin to get ready for a new school-year, I always try to get things in good working order in other matters as well.  Just today I began tweaking our House Rules a little bit.  When I began making our House Rules, my younger daughter was just learning to read, and I had to keep things very simple.  As time went on, it got more and more complicated.  Now, however, I have found that simpler is better.  I was able to break down everything so that it fit under four basic rules.  I thought some of you might be interested in using our house rules and/or modifying them to suit your family's needs, so here they are:

ANDERSON FAMILY HOUSE RULES

1.  LOVE the LORD (Mark 12:30)

•     God loves you; Jesus died for you.  Respect the love you have been shown.
•     Love and obey God and all other things will fall into place.
•     Choose to be thankful and content.
•     Pray.

2.  LOVE ONE ANOTHER (John 13:34-35)

•     Honor and obey your parents with a respectful attitude.
•     Serve, encourage and forgive one another.
•     Treat others the way you want to be treated.
•     Be generous.
•     Be a peacemaker.
•     Be honest and kind.
•     Give help cheerfully when you see it is needed; accept help graciously when it is offered.

3.  LOVE YOURSELF as a CREATION of GOD (1 Corinthians 6:19)

•     Choose to be joyful and patient.
•     Do what you know is right, regardless of what others say.
•     Exercise self-control in every kind of situation.
•     Ask before you act if you are ever unsure.

4.  BE a LOVING STEWARD of GOD'S GIFTS (Matthew 25:14 - 30)

•     Use our resources wisely.
•     Complete your assigned tasks with a cheerful heart.
•     Take initiative to help without having to be asked.

Remember to show J.O.Y.!
J - Jesus first
O - Others second
Y - Yourself last

My Broken Heart

I think I’ve mentioned on this blog before that I am involved in an outreach ministry at my church.  We go out into the community and pick up about twenty children and bring them back to the church for a Bible class.  This past week was our VBS so we picked up our “community kids” every night.  I had an opportunity to spend a little more time with them than normal both during class and on the ride to and from the church. 

 

I think I’ve also mentioned that these kids deal with more issues on a day to day basis than I have in my forty years of life.  This week we talked about two fathers.  One died two weeks ago.  The other went to jail about a month ago.  In both cases the children are left without their father.  The one that went to jail will be there for years this time rather than months.  Since we’ve known the kids, this is his third time to be arrested.  Several of the kids are related so these events were fresh on all their minds.  The funeral for the other father was only days before VBS began.  I spent a few minutes on two of the evenings talking about these things and more with one of the moms.  She is overwhelmed.  So am I.  It is very sobering to hear a nine year old boy talk about the details of the last few hours of his father’s life.  His father was 32 years old.  Basically, he died as a result of drug and alcohol abuse.  His son said to me, “I just wish he was still here.”  I do too.

 

Our “normal” Bible class time is on Monday night.  From the time we pick up the kids, have our class and take them back home, we’ve spent a maximum of two hours with them.  We have two hours a week with these children.  Our message, the gospel and the love of Christ, is competing with all the other “messages” they get during the week.  They are inundated with information from parents, friends, school, television, etc.  We have to push through all of that and hope that the gospel penetrates their little hearts before they are hardened by the world. 

 

There have been many Monday nights that I’ve headed home with my heart broken into a thousand pieces because of the stories they tell.  On other nights their behavior is so bad that I leave thinking, “I can’t do this anymore.  I can’t do this.  I can’t do this.”  I’ve driven home with tears streaming down my cheeks because I just don’t know what to do.  Sometimes it seems we’ve made no progress at all.  I’ve driven home asking God, “What is the purpose in all this? What are we supposed to be doing with these kids?”  So many times I want to just give up and quit.  Thankfully, somehow, someway God always brings me back to the broken place in my heart where I am so in love with these children.  I want nothing more than to be a small light in the dark world in which they live.  At the age of nine or ten years old they are already beaten down by the world.  They are living out the consequences of the bad choices their parents have made.  That is the hardest part for me.  These kids could have better lives if only their parents made better choices.  That nine year old boy might have his dad if his dad had never taken that first drink or smoked that first cigarette!

 

Ultimately all we can do is to continue to tell them the greatest story they will ever hear.  Hopefully the details of that story will weave into the details of their story.  I know for sure that I have to keep loving them and speaking God’s Word to them.  His Word and His Story never return void. 

 

One of my co-workers in this ministry said just last night, “if only one of these children is saved, our ministry will have been a huge success.”  Amen!

“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” 

 

--Galatians 6:9

Hey, That's Not Fair!

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Editor's Note:
I would like to apologize to you, our loyal readers, for our absence in the month of July.  It was entirely my fault.  As we know, to everything there is a season and, apparently, July is not the season for keeping up with a blog - at least not for me.  As the days cool and life settles back into it's rhythm, I hope, with help of my amazing co-writers, to bring you more regular updates and additional improvements that we may all further glorify our Lord. ~ E.A.
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I do not know what to write. Those who know me, know that things roll around my head a long time and I preach to myself all day long. Now, thanks to this blog, I not only preach to myself, but to you as well. :) It is a good challenge have an outlet for the things I’m trying to get into my head/heart. By writing this, I invite you to take the journey with me.

I will paraphrase a question that was recently asked pertaining to marriage. “How do you not let your spouses faults get under your skin?” or “How can I learn not to bear a grudge when they violate MY standard of living?” or “When is service to my spouse just too much to bear?” All three questions are really variations on one theme. I will confess that I am not perfect in this area, but God’s word is perfect and so through it we can have the direction we need(2 Tim 3:16-17).To begin, we must realize that life is not fair. Nope, the Creator of the world living here on Earth in a perfect manner and being killed for my sin is not fair (Phillipians 2:6-8). Jesus endured trickery, lies, beating, mocking, head wagging, and even slow, painful death by those who claim to love God when He could have stopped it. Simply put, God’s grace isn’t fair. 

Did you know that we aren’t called to be fair? We are called to present our bodies as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1). We are called to love. Now that we have our eyes on Jesus, we’ll have the perspective necessary to answer the question in a right way, one that brings honor to our Lord. 

Let’s rephrase the question. “What are we not willing to joyfully bear in order to bring glory to God?” A spouse who lets the grass grow too long? One that doesn’t pick up his shoes? One that expects us to bag a lunch for them day after endless day? After the burden that Christ lifted off our shoulders any burden we bear for others is light in comparison. Did He not wash the dirty feet of a dozen men to teach us a lesson about servitude? You see, when we stand on our “rights” and declare that it’s just too much for us, that we don’t deserve to be treated with such disrespect and we’re not going to put up with it any longer, we are not being poor in spirit. In fact, we are making ourselves greater than Christ. When we complain to ourselves and to others because our spouse walks on our freshly mopped floors with muddy shoes, we are making ourselves greater than Christ. He never once complained during His suffering.

Who was made for whom? Often, when I am frustrated with my spouse, it’s because I forget our roles. I expect him to support my whims, goals, dreams, expectations, and lifestyle when my role from creation has been to be his helper (Genesis 2:18).

Other times my frustration is from the unbiblical notion that marriage should be 50/50. I tend to look at my 50% and wondering why he isn’t helping me with it. But, Colossians 3:23-24 tells me “Whatsoever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” If I am only putting 50% into my marriage, then I am only giving the Lord 50%.

Ideally, Christians marry each other and help each other grow closer to God causing them to grow closer to one another. They are gentle, patient, kind, loving, and submissive to one another. But, sometimes we live outside of the ideal. Sometimes a spouse drifts from the Lord causing a tremendous schism between husband and wife (2 Corinthians 6:15). Then what? 1 Peter 2:19+ offers this help “For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly… For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in His steps… He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness.” It is through remembering what God has done for us that we can humble ourselves and endure injustice. The good news is that we don’t put up with it forever. We are “children…heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him…the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:17+) I can’t think of a better ending than that!

I’ve got a LONG way to go in this area, but now that I know God’s expectations and that He can give me the ability to carry out His will, I’m ready to change direction.

Classic Cars, Serving Dishes and Talents

Last week when I was working out I overheard the following conversation between two guys that were in
the gym.

Guy #1 – “Hey is that your mustang out there in the parking lot?”
Guy #2 – “Yes.” He went on to tell the model and other details about the car that really meant nothing to
me due to my lack of knowledge of (or interest in) classic cars.
Guy #1 – “That’s a great car. Do you drive it often?”
Guy #2 – “No. It’s only got 44,000 miles on it. I usually keep it in the garage. My son’s car is in the shop
so he had to drive another one of our cars.”
Guy #1 – “You wouldn’t let him drive that one?”
Guy #2 – “No way. I’m not letting him drive it. I can’t wait to get it back home in the garage and put the
cover back on it.”

What? Put it back in the garage and put the cover back on it? Seriously? Apparently, to the trained
eye, this is a really nice car. Yet, he wants to keep it covered up in his garage. Why have it at all?
OK, I totally get why he does that. I’m not very schooled in cars, but I do work at a Convention Center
and we have an annual car show. I’ve seen these people before. They spend hours with a bottle of
Windex on a car that has never seen the light of day. Most of the cars are driven out of a trailer when
they arrive at the exhibit hall. The owners have this wonderful treasure that they are proud of and they
kind of want to show it off, but don’t you dare touch it. And, please don’t let it rain (or snow..the show is
always in January) before, during or after the show.

Of course, when I heard this conversation, I immediately thought of the parable of the talents and
the “one talent man.” He certainly took good care of his talent. He didn’t squander it or use it frivolously.
Surely he had good intentions. The Bible tells us that he was afraid so he hid it in the ground. He didn’t
want to lose what he’d been entrusted with. However, the other two servants did the exact opposite.
They put their money to work and doubled it. As a result they were entrusted with even more. If you’ve
read this account in the Bible you know what happened to the “one talent man.” His plan for holding onto
that one talent was not a good one.

I can relate somewhat to “Guy #2” and even the “one talent man.” I have a beautiful glass serving
dish that belonged to my great-grandmother. It probably doesn’t have any real monetary value, but
to me it has great sentimental value. I rarely use it because I don’t want it to get broken. It sits on my
kitchen counter most of the time, just holding potatoes or onions. I’m hesitant to take it to a church
potluck or even a family get together. It’s special to me because it represents a connection to a special
person in my family. I’m afraid that using it will ruin it. I wonder what my great-grandmother would
think about that. Would she be sad or disappointed because I haven’t really enjoyed the serving dish?

What about God? How does He feel when he sees us burying our “talents?” He’s given us each unique
personalities, skills, abilities, interests and desires. If we focus on these and channel them in the right
direction we can do amazing things for His Kingdom. However, when we ignore the gifts He has given us
we are just like the “one talent man.” If we don’t use what we’ve been given we can’t grow.
Not only will we not grow, but like the “one talent man” we are risking our eternal salvation by not obeying
God and using what he’s given us.

How are you using your “talents"?

Matthew 25:14-30

Good Works

While my daughters and I were reading Titus the other day, we couldn’t help but notice how often Paul referred to good works. The phrase that really stuck was “be ready for every good work.” What does that mean? How can I? Don’t good works usually present themselves when you’re already in the middle of chaos? Since it takes all of my effort just to maintain the status quo, can I really plan for good works? I will admit that I am not quick to make connections. All day I meditated on that verse to try to figure out how that concept is applied. That evening while talking with my hubby I found myself answering my own question.

To be ready for every good work involves skill. What I am able to do, prepares me to serve. If I am able to cook, then I can serve by bringing food to elderly or sick people. If I am able to drive, then many needs could be met through driving. My home could be a place of providing fellowship through hospitality. Since any skill can be used to the glory of God, it is worthwhile to cultivate skills so that I can be “ready.” Some people buy or make cards of sympathy or encouragement in bulk so that they will be ready. Some stock up on homemade frozen meals or always keep ingredients in the pantry so that they may be prepared to host out-of-town Sunday visitors. Fasting and prayer on behalf of someone is not only a great service to them, but service to God. Smiling, saying a kind word, or simply holding your tongue when you don’t feel like it can also be good works. Certainly, older women teaching younger women to love their husbands and children, is a good work.

Attitude is integral to being “ready for every good work.” It involves willingness and selflessness. To be sure, it is rarely convenient to partake in good works. Occasionally, good works require something that’s easy to give, but I think that is the exception. They involve some sort of sacrifice of time, money, or effort; but can become a lifestyle, thus lessoning the difficulties as the above examples show.

Okay, I’ll confess. There once was a time when I didn’t know how to do good works without being directly tied to a ministry. Once my first child was born, all my work with ministries (which I loved) came crashing to an end. Here I was for the first time in my life (since age 3), living within the home without extrinsic motivations such as school, a job, or a ministry. None of the ministries seemed to fit this new Mommyhood lifestyle. I didn’t know what to do with myself and I longed to understand God’s purpose for my life. This was a difficult period. During that time I remember having lunch with a friend and mentioning that although I don‘t know my purpose, I do know that God gave me my husband and my daughter and so perhaps that is where I ought to start. Over the course of the next year my Grandmother became ill and passed away, I was ministered to by some women in the congregation whose actions and words were an example during that trial. They weren’t a part of a formal ministry and never stood out, so until then, I didn’t know their function within the body. Through their actions, I finally understood that good works could be done both in and out of organized ministries.

The scriptures make it clear that if we are God’s own we are commanded to do good works, but I wonder if God sometimes allows us to incubate for a time. Remember David so much wanted to build a temple for God, but God did not allow it. When I had to abandon all the ministries that I once worked with, that’s how I felt. God did allow David to start accumulating materials for the building. That’s how it was when I began turning my attention towards home. In those days I didn’t cook. I was no good at it. My mouth didn’t water when I read a recipe because spices seemed to me like a foreign language. Neither was I any good at housekeeping. I’ve never been tidy and I simply don’t like to clean. That’s a bad combo. However, I learned to be intrinsically motivated and do what needs to be done. Through the grace of God, I am more than I ever thought I could be. It wasn’t only what I learned to do though; it’s about who I’ve become. During the period that I didn’t think I was doing anything, I was becoming more like my Lord and Savior. I began the journey of leaving laziness, selfishness, and indulgence behind. This will likely be a lifelong struggle for me, but I’m on the road and I have joy in my heart. I am no longer lost and uncomfortable at home, but grateful to have learned God’s way for me.

Even if I’ve developed all kinds of skill in order to do good works, if I don’t make the time, I’ll never do them. This means that as a good steward, I will learn time-management. In order to keep our days as flexible as possible, I limit our classes. While my girls have taken some music, dance, art, etc. I try to keep our commitments to a minimum. If we have to chuck home school for a time so that we may participate in a good work, then we let it go. I have faith that God will prosper our education if He is put first. We can always make school work up another day, but opportunities lost cannot be made up. Learning is good, but Righteousness is better.

Oh yeah, stuff… I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that stuff could also be a tool for good works. What stuff to you have that might be used to benefit others? If you have so much mammon that you only have time to serve it, then it’s time to let some of it go. Otherwise, use and enjoy what you have for the glory of God.

In summary, all that I have, am, and can do, He is able to use and multiply. Please, don’t think this is an inclusive exposition; it is just my thoughts. I’d love to hear what you do to be ready.
<sup>1. Titus 3:1
2. Luke 2:373. I Sam 2:30b, Jn 12:26</sup>

Adoption Part 4: Lessons Learned

Read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3

We knew it could happen this way.  We thought we were prepared for all the possibilities.  We thought we would be OK if she decided to keep the baby.  After all, it was her baby.  She had every right to change her mind at the last minute.  It didn’t matter that we’d made a huge emotional investment, not to mention a pretty substantial financial one.  She looked at her baby and she just couldn’t let go.

Needless to say we were devastated.  We had made an emotional connection with the baby.  As far as we were concerned this was our baby.  We had just lost our baby.  We have never experienced pregnancy, miscarriage or the death of a child, but for us it was like a death.  We grieved as if it were a death.  I have never before or since felt grief like I did then.  In the beginning it was physical.  I felt as if an elephant was on my chest and I literally couldn’t breathe.  I thought I would never feel normal again.  Time has certainly lessened the grief but it never completely goes away.  Even now as I write this I feel the grief coming to the surface and if I allowed myself, I could succumb to it for a few hours or even a couple of days.  I could wallow in my grief and ask, “Why me?”  I’ve certainly spent some time doing that in the past three years.

I could write a book about this and about the feelings I had and the lessons I learned.  I’m not sure why I decided to share it here on the blog, but it’s been on my mind more this year than the previous two.  I needed to write it down and reflect on it this time. Perhaps some of the lessons I learned will be helpful to someone else that may be going through a difficult experience.

I learned that I am stronger than I think.  It was hard, the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, but I survived.

I learned that my marriage is as strong as I hoped it would be in a crisis.  We survived something difficult together and came out stronger on the other side.  We never blamed each other or were angry with each other.  We relied on each other during the grief and sadness and loved each other more for it. 

I learned that my faith is as strong as I hoped it would be.  I certainly had, and sometimes still have some questions for God, but I never lost faith in Him and His power.  I know that, while I may not understand it in this life, He had a reason for putting us in this situation and working it out the way He did.  I was confused at times, but never angry at God.

The greatest lesson I learned is that God is in control.  He has a plan and His plan is always best.  A couple of things that happened during this experience really tested my faith.  The first has to do with diapers.  We knew that we would have to buy a few things in preparation for the baby.  Clothes were easy.  They were cute and fun.  Even formula was easy.  I mean, I knew the baby had to eat so I took some advice from friends and bought a small can of the recommended formula.  The diapers though.  Oh my goodness.  I would stand in front of the sea of diapers and I was just so overwhelmed.  I must’ve gone to buy diapers half a dozen times.  I never could bring myself to do it.  There were so many brands and sizes and I just didn’t know what to choose.  One day when I was praying about this I really felt that God was telling me that not buying the diapers was a lack of faith.  I was not trusting Him.  I finally got up enough courage and faith to buy a few diapers.

Another thing that really stands out to me is that after she decided to keep the baby and we had to tell the story over and over again, people would say, “Oh well, I guess that’s for the best.”  At first this made me really angry.  I thought, “How dare you say that to me?  You have no idea what this child is facing.  This woman left her child in a crack house.  She’s lost custody of one child already.  We know nothing about this baby’s father because he drifts from crack house to crack house and no one can find him.  The grandmother has been in jail because of drugs.  Another family member died trying to get off drugs.  Oh yeah, the baby is in a much better situation with her than with us.”  I knew that people meant well and didn’t really know what to say, but it was so hard for me to hear that.  I selfishly wanted the best thing to be for the baby to be with me and my husband.

I still believe that by not buying diapers I was showing a lack of faith.  I also still believe, even though I ended up not needing the diapers, that buying them was an act of faith.  And, once I came out of the ocean of grief and pain and confusion, I understood that it was best that she kept the baby.  It’s for the best because I prayed, oh how I prayed, for that baby and that mother and for me and my husband.  I prayed that God’s will would be done and that His purposes would be served in this situation.  I believe with all my heart that His will was done and that His purposes were served.

I didn’t feel that way overnight.  It has taken time and prayer and faith to be able to say that.  But, I do believe that He put us in that situation for a reason.  I still don’t completely understand.  I think, if for no other reason, God knew that she needed a prayer warrior.  I pray for the mother and that precious baby and the other children very often.  I pray that the mother has taken the opportunity to make some positive changes in her life.  I pray that the baby motivated her to do what she needed to do for herself and her family.  If her life and the lives of her children are better because she almost gave her baby away, then I’m thankful to have been part of that process.

The experience opened my heart to adoption.  It wasn’t something we ever considered before and we haven’t pursued another adoption.  However, we haven’t ruled it out either.  There are so many families out there in crisis and so many unwanted children.  If we were approached with the same situation today, even knowing the potential for heartache, we would do it all again in a minute.

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Adoption Part 3: Phone Calls

Read Part 1  and Part 2.

The second time we spoke with the birth mother was a stormy night in June.  We were to call her from our home at a specific time.  Our power was out so we sat on our sofa in the dark and called her using a cell phone.  We had the best conversation with her.  We asked her a lot of questions about the adoption and how she felt about it.  She seemed to feel really great about it.  She admitted that she just felt she couldn’t take care of another child.  We spoke to her mother (at the time they were living together and the mom actually had custody of one of the older children) who also seemed very positive about us and the adoption.  We allowed both of them to ask anything they wanted of us.  Her only real request of us was that we send her photos.  We assured her that we would send her photos and that we would tell her child about her and the love that motivated her decision. 

My husband and I agreed early on in the process that we would be as open as possible with the baby about the adoption and about the birth mother.  We knew that if our child ever wanted to meet her that we would encourage that and would help in any way in finding her at that time.

By this point, she was at the very end of her pregnancy.  Physically there were signs that the baby was coming soon.  When we spoke to her on the phone she was to go to the doctor later that week.  She was to call the counselors and let them know how the appointment went.  We had spoken to her about what would happen when she went to the hospital and who she would call and how all of that would work.  We had a contact at the hospital and would be informed of the birth.  After that second phone call we knew that we would likely never speak to her again.  We would have a room in the hospital. The baby would be born and would be brought straight to us.  Unless she specifically requested to speak with us, our contact with her at that point would be only through the attorney.

Those last few days we went through each day anticipating that phone call.  We never went anywhere without our phones.  We had our home phone and our cell phones by our bedside.  Each time the phone rang we just knew it was time.

It seemed like we would wait forever.  Finally we got the call.

It wasn’t the middle of the night phone call that we had anticipated where we would hurry and pull on some clothes and grab the newly packed diaper bag and the small gift we had for the mother and rush to the hospital.  No this call was the one that we dreaded.  This was the call where we found out that she just couldn’t do it.  She could not give her baby up for adoption. 

The second time we spoke to her was on either a Monday or Tuesday evening.  She was to go to the doctor later that week.  Well, we found out that the baby was born on that Friday.  She did not contact anyone until the following Tuesday. 

To be continued ...

Adoption Part 2: Exciting and Frustrating

Read part one here.

The date that I got the initial phone call was May 10.  The baby was due mid to late June.  Yikes.  We had six weeks to prepare for something that most people have months to prepare for.  We needed a crib, a car seat, diapers, formula and countless other things that I never even knew existed, much less that I needed.  Thanks to the kindness of friends and family we got most of what we needed pretty quickly and FREE.  We were given or loaned all of the essentials.

We started getting excited.  We only shared this with family at first.  There was a great risk in telling too many people.  We knew that she might not follow through with her decision.  We also wanted the process to be as confidential as possible.  It was so hard to keep this secret.  We were bursting with joy over having a child and so wanted to share it with everyone.  Finally we did share it with our Sunday school class at church and our co-workers.  It didn’t take long for the news to spread and we were overwhelmed at how others were sharing in our joy.

The time we spent on this journey was an emotional roller coaster like I have never experienced before or since.  Most of the time, we were just like any other happy expectant parents.  We made plans, picked out a name, bought a few items we needed.  Other times we felt very frustrated with the process.  We had to deal with the counselor, the attorney, the hospital, and the financial obligations. 

In the midst of all of this we were constantly aware of the problems the birth mother was facing.  She had two other children, but there was no father present for any of them.  Drug and alcohol abuse had been a big part of her life.  Not just personally for her, but several family members as well.  She was unable to care for the two older children and certainly not prepared to take care of a third child.  We were concerned for her and for her entire family.  We hoped that she would see how unselfish it was for her to choose adoption for her baby.  I wrote her a letter, one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done, and thanked her for giving us this opportunity and assured her that her baby would be loved and cared for, not just by us, but by our friends and families as well.

Initially we never planned to speak directly with her.  We communicated through the counselors and attorneys and in writing.  However, she requested a phone conversation.  It took place in the counselor’s office.  She was put on a speaker phone and we had a short conversation with her.  Hearing her voice was a very emotional thing for me.  Knowing what she was giving up and what I would be gaining because of her sacrifice was quite sobering.

As the weeks went on we hoped and prayed and prepared as much as you can prepare in such an uncertain situation.  She requested a second phone call and at that time we felt really good about our decision and about her decision.

To be continued…

Adoption Part 1: The Beginning of the Journey

This time of year is always bittersweet for me.  I love the newness of spring and the warmth of the sun.  However, I will forever associate this time of year with a difficult experience in my life. Three years ago my husband and I tried to adopt a baby. 

It happened on an early spring day.  It was a Thursday.  I was at my desk at work when I received the phone call.  There was a young mother expecting a baby.  For various reasons she was considering adoption.  Would we be interested?  Since we had not been seeking adoption and had never discussed adoption this came as quite a surprise.  My immediate reaction was, “of course we’re interested.”  But, I knew that I had to speak with my husband first.  At the time I was involved in something at my church that kept me away from home until later that night.  I knew this wasn’t a conversation to be had over the phone so I anxiously awaited the end of my day so that I could speak with my husband.

While he is naturally a bit more cautious than I and had some doubts, we discussed it and decided we wanted to know more.  It’s not every day that someone calls and wants to give you a baby.  Again, we had to exercise extreme patience by waiting until the following Tuesday until we could get some details.

We walked into the meeting filled with questions about the situation and the process.  We had absolutely no idea what we were getting into or really if we even wanted to proceed.  Sure, we would love to have a child, but never thought this would be the route we would take.  After the meeting, while we had some pertinent info, we were still filled with questions and concerns.  I remember, though, that we went to dinner after our meeting and we sat there and both said, “How can we know what we know about this child and NOT do this?”  From that point on, we still had questions along the way, but we never doubted the decision to take this child into our home and raise him or her as our child.

That day we embarked upon a journey that changed us forever. 

To be continued….

Christian Diseases (Part 2)

Spiritual Diseases (Part 2)

Ever been diagnosed with any of these? Take honest inventory…not to hurt from it, but to heal. It’s amazing how the Holy Spirit can convict you (in this case, me) in such a way that not only ministers to others, but to yourself as well.

Thin Skin Infection

Symptoms: Everything hurts her feelings. She’s easily offended and often holds silent grudges against others.

Results: People are uncomfortable talking to her...you never know what her reaction

will be, lacks close relationships, can be moody

Treatment:

•  Eliminate insecurities by lovingly talking to people to make sure you understand them
•  Learn to overlook minor nuisances, nobody’s perfect
• Decide to forgive others no matter what it takes

Put up with each other. Forgive the things you are holding against one another. Forgive, just as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

Self-Centered Syndrome

Symptoms: She can be a bit bratty. She always wants everything to go her way. She lacks flexibility in many areas and has a tendency to be bossy.

Results: Tends to be less involved in church activities when she’s not in charge, runs off

genuine workers who just want to serve, brings down working morale of group project participants

Treatment:

• Practice being a team player, but letting others lead the committee
• Train others to take on your traditional tasks
• Pray to have a more humble heart
• Set a weekly goal to do something for someone else and look for nothing in return

An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment. Proverbs 18:1

Humility Dysfunction

Symptoms: She can be very “puffed-up” at times. She thinks she knows “everything.” She rarely takes advice and feels she knows the bible better than anyone.

Results: Others find it difficult to talk to her, she’s perceived as being “fake,” lacks meaningful friendships

Treatment:

• Continue to study the bible and realize even Paul struggled (Romans 7:18-21)
• Put others before yourself by giving your time to those less fortunate...volunteer at a homeless shelter or give your designer clothes to the needy
• Practice giving compliments to others
• Welcome constructive criticism with sincerity

Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. Proverbs 26:12