Hey, That's Not Fair!

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Editor's Note:
I would like to apologize to you, our loyal readers, for our absence in the month of July.  It was entirely my fault.  As we know, to everything there is a season and, apparently, July is not the season for keeping up with a blog - at least not for me.  As the days cool and life settles back into it's rhythm, I hope, with help of my amazing co-writers, to bring you more regular updates and additional improvements that we may all further glorify our Lord. ~ E.A.
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I do not know what to write. Those who know me, know that things roll around my head a long time and I preach to myself all day long. Now, thanks to this blog, I not only preach to myself, but to you as well. :) It is a good challenge have an outlet for the things I’m trying to get into my head/heart. By writing this, I invite you to take the journey with me.

I will paraphrase a question that was recently asked pertaining to marriage. “How do you not let your spouses faults get under your skin?” or “How can I learn not to bear a grudge when they violate MY standard of living?” or “When is service to my spouse just too much to bear?” All three questions are really variations on one theme. I will confess that I am not perfect in this area, but God’s word is perfect and so through it we can have the direction we need(2 Tim 3:16-17).To begin, we must realize that life is not fair. Nope, the Creator of the world living here on Earth in a perfect manner and being killed for my sin is not fair (Phillipians 2:6-8). Jesus endured trickery, lies, beating, mocking, head wagging, and even slow, painful death by those who claim to love God when He could have stopped it. Simply put, God’s grace isn’t fair. 

Did you know that we aren’t called to be fair? We are called to present our bodies as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1). We are called to love. Now that we have our eyes on Jesus, we’ll have the perspective necessary to answer the question in a right way, one that brings honor to our Lord. 

Let’s rephrase the question. “What are we not willing to joyfully bear in order to bring glory to God?” A spouse who lets the grass grow too long? One that doesn’t pick up his shoes? One that expects us to bag a lunch for them day after endless day? After the burden that Christ lifted off our shoulders any burden we bear for others is light in comparison. Did He not wash the dirty feet of a dozen men to teach us a lesson about servitude? You see, when we stand on our “rights” and declare that it’s just too much for us, that we don’t deserve to be treated with such disrespect and we’re not going to put up with it any longer, we are not being poor in spirit. In fact, we are making ourselves greater than Christ. When we complain to ourselves and to others because our spouse walks on our freshly mopped floors with muddy shoes, we are making ourselves greater than Christ. He never once complained during His suffering.

Who was made for whom? Often, when I am frustrated with my spouse, it’s because I forget our roles. I expect him to support my whims, goals, dreams, expectations, and lifestyle when my role from creation has been to be his helper (Genesis 2:18).

Other times my frustration is from the unbiblical notion that marriage should be 50/50. I tend to look at my 50% and wondering why he isn’t helping me with it. But, Colossians 3:23-24 tells me “Whatsoever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” If I am only putting 50% into my marriage, then I am only giving the Lord 50%.

Ideally, Christians marry each other and help each other grow closer to God causing them to grow closer to one another. They are gentle, patient, kind, loving, and submissive to one another. But, sometimes we live outside of the ideal. Sometimes a spouse drifts from the Lord causing a tremendous schism between husband and wife (2 Corinthians 6:15). Then what? 1 Peter 2:19+ offers this help “For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly… For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in His steps… He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness.” It is through remembering what God has done for us that we can humble ourselves and endure injustice. The good news is that we don’t put up with it forever. We are “children…heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him…the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:17+) I can’t think of a better ending than that!

I’ve got a LONG way to go in this area, but now that I know God’s expectations and that He can give me the ability to carry out His will, I’m ready to change direction.