Read part one here.
The date that I got the initial phone call was May 10. The baby was due mid to late June. Yikes. We had six weeks to prepare for something that most people have months to prepare for. We needed a crib, a car seat, diapers, formula and countless other things that I never even knew existed, much less that I needed. Thanks to the kindness of friends and family we got most of what we needed pretty quickly and FREE. We were given or loaned all of the essentials.
We started getting excited. We only shared this with family at first. There was a great risk in telling too many people. We knew that she might not follow through with her decision. We also wanted the process to be as confidential as possible. It was so hard to keep this secret. We were bursting with joy over having a child and so wanted to share it with everyone. Finally we did share it with our Sunday school class at church and our co-workers. It didn’t take long for the news to spread and we were overwhelmed at how others were sharing in our joy.
The time we spent on this journey was an emotional roller coaster like I have never experienced before or since. Most of the time, we were just like any other happy expectant parents. We made plans, picked out a name, bought a few items we needed. Other times we felt very frustrated with the process. We had to deal with the counselor, the attorney, the hospital, and the financial obligations.
In the midst of all of this we were constantly aware of the problems the birth mother was facing. She had two other children, but there was no father present for any of them. Drug and alcohol abuse had been a big part of her life. Not just personally for her, but several family members as well. She was unable to care for the two older children and certainly not prepared to take care of a third child. We were concerned for her and for her entire family. We hoped that she would see how unselfish it was for her to choose adoption for her baby. I wrote her a letter, one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done, and thanked her for giving us this opportunity and assured her that her baby would be loved and cared for, not just by us, but by our friends and families as well.
Initially we never planned to speak directly with her. We communicated through the counselors and attorneys and in writing. However, she requested a phone conversation. It took place in the counselor’s office. She was put on a speaker phone and we had a short conversation with her. Hearing her voice was a very emotional thing for me. Knowing what she was giving up and what I would be gaining because of her sacrifice was quite sobering.
As the weeks went on we hoped and prayed and prepared as much as you can prepare in such an uncertain situation. She requested a second phone call and at that time we felt really good about our decision and about her decision.
To be continued…
You are killing me with the anticipation ... both times ... and I know the outcome. I know it must still be difficult to write out, so I'll try to be patient. But, just know that your way with words (along with this story) is keeping me with suspense. (That is meant to be a compliment, NOT meant to rush you. Unlike you, I'm not the best with words. I'm working on it.)
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