What Are You Trying to Prove?

A couple of weeks ago my friend and I were returning from spending the weekend at our church’s women’s retreat. It was an encouraging and uplifting time, but also an emotional one. See, we looked deeply at ourselves and at some things that we might need to change. My friend and I are quite different, but we share a similar struggle. On our way home, we were discussing the differences and similarities of our struggle. She is very outgoing, sometimes to the point that she feels she says too much. Or, she says the wrong things. I, on the other hand, am very quiet in most situations. I don’t say enough or share enough of myself with others. Though we are on the opposite ends of that spectrum we share the same feelings of inadequacy that come when we measure ourselves by the wrong standard. She said, “It’s hard to be yourself and try to prove yourself at the same time.” I knew exactly what she meant the minute she said it. I feel the same way. If I’m really my true self, if I show people the real me, what will they think? If I bear my soul to those that (I assume) have it all together and they find out that I don’t have it all together, how will they react?

My response to my friend, was, “I think that’s the problem. We are trying to prove something.” What are we trying to prove and to whom are we trying to prove it? I think a lot of women feel this way to some degree at different points in their lives. We value ourselves by our weight, our clothes, our hair, our homes, our jobs, our kids, our bank accounts, and on and on…….. We compare ourselves to others. In some cases we compare ourselves to those we think are less attractive, righteous, or successful in order to elevate our status in our own eyes. At other times we compare ourselves to those we think are more attractive, righteous or successful and we end up feeling ugly, guilty and flawed. Neither comparison is accurate or healthy. Our true measure of ourselves should come from God’s Word and His standards, not our own.


God tells us that we are created in His image (Genesis 1:27). How then could we possibly be ugly or flawed? We, in our sin and imperfection, are so valuable to God that He gave His Son to die for us. Other people around us may look at us and judge us by our outward appearance, but God looks at our hearts (I Samuel 16:7). We have nothing to “prove” to Him. Psalm 139 tells us that He knew everything about us before we were born. He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He even knows our thoughts before we think them. And yet, He still values us enough that He sacrificed His Son for us.


The human part of me will always struggle with self-image issues. However, the divine nature that I possess through Him continually reminds me that my true self-worth comes from who I am in Him, not who I am in this world. I will never measure up to the standards of this world. But by His standards I am holy and blameless (Ephesians 1:4).


I’d much rather have that than a perfect home, beautiful body or hefty bank account.


Are you trying to prove something?